FORGIVENESS

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Forgiveness is, without a doubt, one of the most powerful and yet profoundly challenging commands found within the Holy Scriptures. It beautifully reflects the very heart of our merciful God, who freely offers complete forgiveness to all humanity through the sacrificial, substitutionary work of our Lord Jesus Christ. In the Bible, true, godly forgiveness is not just about superficially releasing someone else from a debt or an offense they have committed against us; it is also, and perhaps more significantly, about liberating ourselves from the dark, spiritual prison of anger, resentment, and bitterness. The parable of the unmerciful servant, found in Matthew 18:21-35, provides a vivid and solemn picture of the absolute importance of forgiveness in the life of every true believer. It powerfully reminds us that we must forgive as we ourselves have been so lavishly forgiven by our Lord.

The English word “forgive” is understood by some to come from the combination of two root concepts: “for,” meaning before or prior to, and “give,” meaning to grant, allow, or release. In essence, to forgive means to release someone from an offense before they have done anything to earn or deserve that release. Forgiveness, therefore, is fundamentally an act of grace, extended freely and without conditions attached. It is a precious gift we give, not because the offender is necessarily worthy of it or repentant, but because we ourselves have received such immeasurable forgiveness from God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Forgiveness is the very opposite of bondage. When we stubbornly hold onto grudges and adamantly refuse to forgive, we effectively imprison ourselves in a dark dungeon of bitterness, resentment, and anger. But when we choose to forgive, we are, in reality, setting ourselves free. As the wise saying goes, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was you.” Forgiveness liberates our hearts and minds from the crushing weight of unresolved pain and spiritual torment.

Isaiah 58:9-10 contains a divine call for us to stop being angry, accusatory, and judgmental toward others:

“Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity; And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday.”

While this passage speaks broadly about righteous living, the principle of removing “the putting forth of the finger” (accusation) and “speaking vanity” (which can include slander and backbiting) certainly reflects the critical importance of letting go of bitterness and actively practicing forgiveness. Holding onto grudges and harboring a judgmental spirit keeps us in a state of spiritual stagnation and darkness. When we genuinely forgive, we release ourselves from the heavy chains of negativity and open our hearts to receive the profound peace that comes only from God.

Matthew 6:14-15 further emphasizes that our willingness to forgive others is a non-negotiable requirement for those who seek God’s forgiveness for their own sins:

“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Our Lord Jesus teaches us with unmistakable clarity that if we do not forgive others, neither will our Heavenly Father forgive us. This is a truly sobering and vital reminder that our own experience of God’s forgiveness is intrinsically tied to how we extend forgiveness to others. God’s amazing grace is extended to us with the divine expectation that we will, in turn, mirror His love by forgiving those who have wronged us.

The deeply moving story of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-32, beautifully illustrates the profound, unconditional love and boundless forgiveness of the Father. The younger son, after foolishly squandering his entire inheritance in reckless, sinful living, eventually comes to his senses and returns home in shame and genuine repentance. The father, filled with overwhelming compassion, sees him a long way off, runs to meet him, embraces him tenderly, and restores him fully to the family without a moment’s hesitation or a word of rebuke. This powerful parable perfectly reflects God’s compassionate heart toward us—forgiveness without prior conditions. The father did not demand a lengthy apology, a period of probation, or any form of restitution from his wayward son before extending his complete forgiveness. He simply loved him and forgave him.

This story poignantly reminds us that true, godly forgiveness is not primarily about the offender or their worthiness, but about the heart and character of the forgiver. It is a conscious choice we make to reflect the amazing love and unmerited grace of God, regardless of whether the offender “deserves” it or has even asked for it.

True, biblical love and genuine, heartfelt forgiveness cannot be separated. The Bible unequivocally teaches us that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and the second is like unto it: to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). If we are to truly live out this divine love, then forgiving those who hurt us, offend us, or betray us is absolutely unavoidable. Love demands that we forgive, even, and especially, when it is incredibly difficult and painful.

1 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us that true love (charity) “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;” (with some translations rendering “keeps no record of wrongs”). True, Christ-like love forgives and, in a divine sense, forgets, not holding the offense against the person.

Great and awe-inspiring examples of this kind of love and forgiveness can be seen in Luke 23:33-34, where our Lord Jesus, even while suffering unimaginable agony on the cross, forgave those who were crucifying Him, praying: “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Similarly, in Acts 7:59-60, as the first Christian martyr, Stephen, was being brutally stoned to death, he faithfully followed Christ’s perfect example by praying for his executioners:

“And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep.”

These astonishing acts of forgiveness in the face of immense suffering are profound and humbling examples of the incredible depth of love that true, godly forgiveness requires.

In Matthew 5:44, our Lord Jesus instructs us:

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

Forgiveness, therefore, is not just about passively releasing the offense or ceasing to feel anger; it is also about actively doing good to those who have wronged us, whenever possible and appropriate. This is a direct reflection of the unmerited grace and loving-kindness we ourselves have received in Christ. Forgiveness is not passive; it is an active, volitional choice to respond with kindness, blessing, and love, even and especially, when it is completely undeserved.

If we, on the other hand, are the offending party, the Lord Jesus teaches us in Matthew 5:23-24 to prioritize and actively seek reconciliation before offering our gifts or worship to God:

“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”

This powerful passage clearly shows us that genuine reconciliation with those we have wronged is more important to God than religious ritual. If we have wronged someone, we must take the initiative to humbly apologize and, where possible, make amends. It requires genuine humility to acknowledge our mistakes, confess our sins to those we’ve hurt, and earnestly seek their forgiveness. As a wise saying puts it, “The first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest, and the first to forget (in the sense of not holding a grudge) is the happiest.”

Forgiveness and humility are inextricably intertwined. Matthew 18:4 teaches that “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Only those who possess a truly humble heart can genuinely forgive others and readily receive forgiveness themselves.

Forgiveness is not primarily an emotion, though emotions are often involved; it is, at its core, an intentional act of the will. It is the voluntary, conscious process by which a victim chooses to release the offender from the debt of the offense and to let go of negative, destructive emotions such as resentment, bitterness, or the desire for vengeance. According to Wikipedia (though biblical truth is our ultimate authority), forgiveness is often described as a process of changing one’s feelings and attitude toward an offense and ultimately wishing the offender well.

This is beautifully, if simply, illustrated in allegorical stories like one about John Scribbling on the Hymnal and another about a Boy and a Duck (though specific details of these stories would be needed for full context, the principle they likely convey is clear). These kinds of simple stories often teach that true forgiveness is not about meticulously keeping records of wrongs or constantly replaying offenses, but about consciously choosing to let go, release the debt, and move forward in grace and love. Just as Hebrews 8:12 declares God’s promise concerning His new covenant people:

“For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.”

God’s forgiveness of our sins is complete and absolute; He no longer holds our confessed and forsaken sins against us. In the very same way, we are divinely called and commanded to forgive others and to release them completely from any debts, real or perceived, they may owe us.

Forgiveness is truly one of the greatest gifts we can give—both to others and, perhaps most profoundly, to ourselves. It is the divine key to unlocking spiritual freedom, lasting peace, and deep emotional healing. Stubbornly holding onto grudges and bitterness only traps us in a dark, self-made prison of negativity, but freely and fully forgiving others sets us free to live in the glorious light of God’s love, grace, and joy.

Forgiveness, in its highest, Christ-like expression, is ultimately not about the worthiness or repentance of the offender; it is about the transformed heart and Christ-like character of the forgiver. When we choose to forgive, we beautifully reflect the merciful heart of God and faithfully walk in the path of Christ’s sacrificial love. As we forgive, we are progressively freed from the binding chains of anger, resentment, and bitterness, and we open our hearts to experience the fullness of God’s amazing grace in our lives.

True, biblical forgiveness certainly requires humility, God-given courage, and supernatural love, but the eternal reward is immeasurable: spiritual freedom, profound peace with God and man, and a heart that increasingly mirrors our forgiving Savior. Let us, therefore, diligently remember and consistently apply the solemn words of our Lord Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15 and live as a people who freely forgive because we ourselves have been so freely and wonderfully forgiven by God. Amen.